Quickie: Those people who are clearly oblivious to their own stupidity with train doors

Right. Train Doors. Everybody knows how train doors work. Right? The train stops, you wait for the button to light up, and then you press the button to open the door. Right? Nobody could be confused by that, no?

And yet somehow there’s almost always that one person standing outside who doesn’t get it. Now, sometimes that person is clearly confused – maybe it’s their first time on the train or something – it would obviously be stupid to judge them for not knowing what to do. But most of the times I’ve seen it it’s been an intelligent looking dude who clearly commutes on the train every day.

It’s the same thing every time – you know exactly what’s going to happen before it happens.

The train’s stopped, but the doors haven’t been unlocked yet. Someone’s standing inside the door with their finger hovering over the button, clearly waiting to press it – it’s obvious to everybody.

There’s a small crowd of people waiting to get on the train, they’re bunched around the doors. They all know the drill and they’re waiting patiently to let people off.

And then some proud looking always-right high-flying idiot will push through the people, storm to the front and press the button to open the door from the outside.

In his mind, he’s oblivious to what a fucking idiot he is. He’s so stupid that he’s actually happy. He doesn’t know what a stupid dumbass he is. Does he not think one of these twenty people would’ve opened the door if they could? Does he not think the person inside waiting to get off would have opened the door if they could? What, were they just going to stand in there looking out and miss their stop? All of the other doors are clearly closed, there’s a whole platform of people waiting patiently for the doors to be unlocked. And yet this guy stands there with a smug look on his face, proud of how he just stormed through all the people who clearly didn’t know what they were doing because they’re nowhere near as smart and sophisticated as him, pushing a button which did literally nothing.

And then he just stands there at the front.

Everybody else was courteous enough to leave a semicircular space around the door for people to step off before they get on. But no, not this guy. He stands there right in front of the door. The world revolves around him, of course, and he should be allowed onto the train before anybody else gets off. That’s clearly the most efficient way to handle this. He should get on, and then everybody who is already on should squeeze past him to get off.

Five seconds later, the train makes a loud beep and the button starts flashing. The guy is standing there thinking to himself: “I did this. I made the beeping and the flashing. The doors are opening and it’s all because of me! I really am the smartest most handsome person on the planet!”.

This guy exists at every train station.  This guy clearly gets the train very often and somehow still hasn’t grasped how the fucking doors work.

This guy wears a suit to work.

Just think about that.

If this guy can’t figure out train doors, how is he contributing anything to the company he works for? He’s been getting trains for like five years or something, a business is paying him a lot of money for something, and yet he somehow hasn’t grasped either that the gap left was for people on the train to leave through, or that you’re meant to wait for the button to flash and beep at you before you press it. Like, it could not be more obvious, it flashes and beeps. It beeps really loud, and flashes really brightly. It flashes bright green and flashes really quickly. It couldn’t be more obvious if it screamed “press me!”. How has this man got this far in life. I bet he has to be micromanaged every step of the way at his job. He’s been spoon-fed every bit of knowledge he has. All of his co-workers hate him because he can’t think for himself and it would be better for everyone if he just didn’t work there.


So yeah, that annoys me a little bit.


  • MrBran4