Let's talk about the Windows 10 Anniversary Update and what a mess it is.

Right, so Microsoft rolled out the Windows 10 Anniversary Update a few days ago and pretty much everything new they added is either pointless, broken or both.

Stop reinstalling your bloatware

Windows 10’s Anniversary Update was distributed as a patch. That means it’s not reinstalling the whole OS, it’s just replacing some bits of it. As such, there’s no way these crappy default apps like MSN Sports, that crappy 3D modeller or any of the other guff could’ve been ‘accidentally’ reinstalled. It’s programmed into the patch to specifically install these.

I’ll tell you why they’re doing this: it’s to boost their app install numbers. When they push out this update, everybody with Windows 10 reinstalls 8 or 9 or however-many apps from the Windows Store. That’s 200 million devices. Boom, the Windows Store just got 600 million new downloads. Do you fancy us back yet, developers? :'(

Stop being lazy

This update represents a year of work. In that time you managed to redesign the UAC prompt (which, by the way, will totally confuse grandma when this new box pops up which she’s never seen before), make Cortana spy on you a bit more, add another pointless button to the taskbar, add some sort of weird delay to notifications, added some weird drawing thing that could’ve just been an app, and changed the old perfectly-good sticky notes app into a UWP app. Do more. Also, speaking of that Sticky Notes app…

Stop being sloppy

See this? This is awful. Look how blurry this bin icon is. The worst part is, there’s not even any reason for this to be blurry. You can fit a non-blurry bin in exactly the same number of pixels.

The new Windows 10 Sticky Notes app, featuring a blurry bin icon

There’s other stuff too, like the first time I clicked that new “Take a Note” button in Action Centre, OneNote immediately crashed. Or Edge extensions needing to be reinstalled until they work. The list goes on.

The new Windows Defender icon is pretty stupid too. Despite the UI of the program itself not changing, they decided to have-done with the sturdy looking wall and replace it with a generic shield – and it’s not even centred.

The new Windows Defender Logo

Test it.

Pretty much all the new things I tried were broken. OneNote crashed first time, apps didn’t open, Edge Extensions didn’t work, and somehow saying ‘Hey Cortana’ made the whole screen white.

For some reason, Edge extensions show up in the ‘recently installed’ section of the start menu. But you can’t open them because they’re not standalone apps. So why do they appear there?